The Beginning of my Journey

I'm nobody special. At least, no more special than anyone else. But my story may help somebody else, so I'm putting it out there.

No long ago I suffered--and I mean suffered--from a terrible illness that left me weak and utterly fatigued, constantly nauseous, pretty much brain dead, and super emotional. I was bedridden for about three years. I am telling you, my situation felt bleak.

I'm not going to tell you what my illness was because it doesn't matter and I don't want it to be the focus of this blog. Let's just say I was in the depths of misery.

To keep my liver from being overloaded from toxins from this illness and having liver damage, I did the coffee enema cleanse (and it was the ONLY thing that could detox me fast enough or well enough) twice a day at least. It was the first thing I did in the morning. Every day.

This means I laid on my bathroom floor (with towels and pillows etc...) every day, twice a day, for three years or more. In fact, I'm just barely able to wean myself from them, because yes, I did sustain some liver damage.

Is was in those moments I would feel most lost, depressed, and hopeless. Many times I would lie there and cry... and cry... and cry, hoping this was not really my life. I couldn't imagine going on like this until the day I died--which didn't feel far off.

A friend came over one night unannounced--which was a good thing because my illness had made me a recluse and had given me terrible anxiety about EVERYTHING. I could hardly function and I did not like visitors even though I was terribly lonely. Anyway, this friend just sat and visited with my husband and me about a book he'd read and how much it had changed his life. The book was written by Denver Snuffer. I'd never heard of him and even though the conversation had been interesting and something different in my miserable life, I wasn't interested in reading anything. My brain was hardly functioning as it was. I got brain fatigued really fast, couldn't stand stimulation, loud music, TV, and had become SUPER forgetful, and.... I could go on and on. You get the picture.

At the time, my family was active LDS. I'll go more into our history with a different post, but at this time, I had no desire to read a religious book by someone I didn't know. And I mean NO desire.

The thing was, as the week went by, I felt nagged by the Spirit to go over and borrow that book. It would NOT leave my mind, and so I finally cried uncle and texted my friend, asking if I could borrow his book, Passing the Heavenly Gift. 

Here's the thing. He didn't have his copy at the moment. He'd loaned it out to someone else, but he did have another one of Denver's books I could read. Removing the Condemnation. I opened it up and found it to be a super intensive study guide about The Book of Mormon with teeny tiny words.

That was not what I wanted.

But I took it, thanked my friend, and promised myself I would at least try to read it. The best time for me to read was during my cleanse while I laid on the floor, so for the next short while, that is what I did. I absolutely soaked it up. It was amazing! Why had no one ever taught this to me before? I was a returned missionary for Pete's sake!!! I should know what The B of M taught. But I was learning things, layer beneath layer, of that wonderful book, that I'd never known before. This information was amazing and I needed more!

I searched Amazon for other books by Denver and found them. I bought The Second Comforter and Passing the Heavenly Gift. From that moment on, I was hooked. Never had I experienced the Spirit in such a powerful way before, never had I been taught like this and my testimony of the Savior soared!

I learned quickly that Denver was not someone to brag about if I didn't want trouble, but I was so excited it was hard not to. It wasn't long after that I heard he'd gotten excommunicated for writing PTHG.

My life became one wild roller coaster from that moment on. I started studying blogs to help feed my spirit (besides reading DS books). Pure Mormonism, To the Remnant, According to Smoot, My Journey to the Fullness, Journey to the Fullness, and others. Look for them.

Anyway, I'm going to keep this short.I'll tell you about my miraculous healing in my next post. And it truly was miraculous, and then I'll tell you about my son who was sent home from his mission early, but it's too much to write now. I'm feeling brain tired.

But this was how it started for me and it has been a wild ride ever since.