And don't come back unless you repent!

I was mowing the lawn one Saturday evening a year ago (my husband was out there with me weed-eating) when the entire bishopric showed up at our house and handed over a letter sealed in an envelope. They didn't stay to visit, to ask how we were, or anything else. They got back into their car and drove away as we stood there in confusion, staring after them.

We went inside and read the letter together. It was a letter from our bishop. This is what it said.

          "Because we have been unable to get together, I feel it necessary to write 

            this letter. I am deeply concerned about you and the direction you have 

            taken. I would sincerely like to meet with you and discuss your concerns, 

            and until we do, I need to counsel you to refrain from sharing your new 

            found beliefs in church meetings or with members or non-members within 

            or outside the ward. You are welcome to attend as long as your 

            conduct and comments do not cause disruption and are consistent 

            with established church doctrine. Failure to heed this counsel can 

            be considered apostasy and would be cause for disciplinary action.

            I hope you realize what you stand to lose if you persist in following the 

            teachings of an apostate. You could lose the blessings of an 

            eternal family, temple blessings, priesthood, and even your membership 

            in the church.

            I encourage you to come meet with me as quickly as possible and hopefully 

            we will be able to work through these issues.

            Sincerely, Bishop --------- "

Here's the funny thing. In the year and a half preceding this letter, I'd never caused a disruption, argued, or talked about my "new found" views with anyone at church. I hadn't really gone to church much as I'd been so sick. I was shocked that he thought he could tell us not to discuss our beliefs with anyone out of the ward or anyone not a member, let alone those in the church. That's basically the whole world. I laugh just thinking about it. I did write back. 

Dear Bishop                                                                                                    May 12, 2015

We sure appreciate your concern for us, but this is getting blown way out of proportion. I think we should clear things up, so there is no misunderstanding. We are not following anyone but the Savior, and him alone. We do not follow Denver Snuffer. We don’t associate with him. We don’t give him money, and we have nothing to do with him. We just had serious questions and he was able to answer some of them in the books he wrote. Instead of condemning us and assuming things, maybe you should take the time to read what he actually wrote. He has vast knowledge of the Book of Mormon and has made me fall in love with that book more than at any other time in my life. I feel closer to the Savior than I ever have. My life has completely changed and I feel God’s love so fully and profoundly that it cannot be denied. We have experienced many miracles recently and it is all because we went in search of the Savior and we found him.

 I don’t know where you are getting the idea that we believe in anything else. We have not come in to meet with you because we know there is no point. You won’t listen to what we have to say, we know. There should be plenty of room in the church for slight variances of belief. Are we supposed to be sheep? We can’t study on our own and learn doctrine that isn’t discussed in Sunday school?

And even if we were wrong, threatening to excommunicate us for discussing our profound love of the Savior with anyone outside the church or outside our neighborhood is completely out of line.

Anyway, I like the way Joseph Smith said it best…

"I do not like the old man being called up for erring in doctrine. It looks too much like the Methodists and not like the latter-day-saints. Methodists have creeds which a man must believe or be kicked out of their church. I want the liberty of thinking and believing as I please. It feels so good not to be trammeled." Joseph Smith

We aren’t out to cause problems or create drama. We haven’t done anything to warrant what feels like persecution and threats. I have been a member of this church for forty-four years and I’ve never felt singled out like this, just because I may think a verse in the Book of Mormon may mean something different than someone else. I love the gospel. I love the Book of Mormon. I am not afraid of my church’s history or studying Joseph Smith’s words. For too long they have been hidden. I love learning and I intend to “search out the best books and learn” all I can before I die.

Okay, so I probably made a mistake using the term "sheep", because in the letter I received back from the bishop, he jumped all over that, saying we should be like sheep. The Savior's sheep etc...  Anyway, I'm not going to get into that, but after receiving that second letter, my husband went over to the bishop's house and nicely told him to leave us alone. 

And he has.

So, we are not excommunicated as of yet. We haven't resigned either. Mainly because that seems like a lot of work and would take energy I don't have. I just don't care enough to do it. I don't feel like a Mormon anymore. I don't subscribe to the church anymore. It isn't something I care about anymore. I'm tired of being a square peg pushed, shoved, and hammered into a round hole. I'm done. Completely. My husband feels the same, thank heaven. 

Here's to moving forward.