My Comforter is Real

I haven't written for a while. Over the last six months some amazing things have happened and I have been waiting for the okay to talk about them. I'm feeling like I should share them now.

Last April of 2017 I started communicating with Philip Stevenson. He has this great business where he helps people overcome their subconscious roadblocks so they can achieve greater success. He also teaches people how to have their second comforter and it's much simpler than we have been led to believe.

We had our interview over the phone since we live so far apart and I wasn't sure how things would go doing it that way. I honestly didn't have high hopes. Most of our work would be about my personal hangups, things that keep me from being my best self and at the end we would attempt a visit with the Savior.

Since it would be too hard to type everything all over again, I'll just cut and paste what I wrote after it happened. It's a summary, but is accurate.

"There aren’t words to describe the experience I had on Thursday morning, April 13, 2017.

Phillip Stephenson had offered to take me on a guided meditation as thanks for editing a book he is working on and I took him up on that offer. I figured it would be fun and enlightening and would possibly help me overcome a few issues I had with financial success and in my relationship with my adopted son, Gabriel. At least I figured it couldn’t hurt.

Phillip called me at eight in the morning and we began a session that I figured would last a couple of hours. That was what we’d planned for anyway. What happened was far beyond my expectations. Far beyond what I could have imagined. The conversation lasted five hours and yet it only felt like an hour and a half! Two at the very most. That said, I will only touch on a few things here. There was just too much!

Rather than write a step by step description about what happened, I want to jump forward and talk about the best part of all. I saw the Jesus Christ! I did not expect this to happen. I hadn’t planned on it, even though I’ve heard it can happen in these kinds of situations.

I had gone through about four hours of guided mediation with Phillip that were incredible and hard to even describe in how enlightened I felt, when I went to a place in my mind that I call The Garden. It’s a little piece of heaven for me, with a little stone bench that sits by a pond. Paths weave through that are lined with flowers of all kinds and sizes. Trees, mostly Weeping Willows, grow, giving shade, and all the paths are made of soft, green grass.

Everything there feels alive—with a consciousness. I could feel the life and energy of all the plants and trees, reaching for me as though they were living beings, so excited to have me there. At this point in the meditation, after literally running through my garden, rolling like a child, frolicking in the grass, and rejoicing in this new world that I thought was just in my mind, I came back to the stone bench, and standing there, all in white, was the Savior. Jesus Christ. I knew immediately who He was. 

He had a dark beard, that wasn’t long or bushy, but short and neat.

I immediately fell down at his feet and kissed them, overcome. The reaction was instantaneous. I couldn’t NOT do that. I COULDN’T stand in his presence. Not because I felt unworthy necessarily, but because I was overwhelmed with an emotion I’ve never felt before. One I can’t even put into words. I started crying and he bent down and lifted me up.

Some of this I related to Phillip, but after listening to the recording, I realized I hadn’t told him much of what was happening at this part, and even now, one day later, I’m afraid of forgetting it. (I have memory issues)

The Savior didn’t speak to me with his mouth, but with his mind through thoughts. His voice is warm and rich. He has a wonderful sense of humor and he frequently laughed, like I amused him with my wonder. 

Phillip asked me to ask him if I am worthy to be there with him and when I did, immediately all the things I’d done wrong sprang to mind and I thought, no, I’m not worthy, but then the words, “Your sins are forgiven,” came into my mind from him, which in turn, made me worthy.

It was almost too hard to believe, but I felt I should believe, since He was standing right there saying it to me. I mentioned as much to Phillip and he said to ask Jesus to help me believe. When I did, Jesus took my face in his hands and with a funny grin said, “It is done. You believe.” It totally made me laugh! He’s funny! I’d heard that from other people, but hadn’t anticipated it. He was playful when I felt playful, and serious when I needed seriousness. He gave me what I needed absolutely.

And then I said to Phillip, “I wish this were real. I want it to be real, but it seems too fantastic.” It felt real, but I also worried that it was just all in my mind, and then Phillip said, “Ask Him if it is real.” So I did.

I don’t know how to describe what happened next. There aren’t words. One minute I was asking the Lord if this experience was real or just all in my head, and the next a power was filling my body, growing and expanding, like nuclear energy or a bomb that was about to go off. It was huge and terrible in its power, and it terrified me. I thought if it didn’t stop expanding I would explode and that my chest would blow out. If it didn’t stop, I’d break. As soon as I had the thought, “This needs to stop.” It did. That fast. I started sobbing immediately, and I remember thinking I needed to control my crying because I didn’t want Phillip to think I was out of control. But that was how it felt. Totally out of control. And even though it scared me, the experience was over too quickly. I wanted it back, despite the fact it was terrifying to experience with no warning! The crazy thing was, it WAS NOT IN MY HEAD. It was my actual physical body that experienced it and it scared me to death, because I didn’t know what it was or if it would stop. (Can I say how bad it scared me enough times? I truly thought I would die)

And then Phillip asked me, “So was it real?” (he was still waiting for my answer) 

I started laughing (because that's my go-to reaction) because, yeah, the message had come across loud and clear. I felt the Savior saying, “THIS IS REAL! Let me make it obvious for you!”

And then Phillip asked if there was anything else I would like to ask or communicate to the Savior. (he took me through it step by step because seriously, my brain went out the window as soon as I saw Jesus.) Phillip suggested a blessing. I liked that idea, so I asked the Lord for a blessing. He was happy to do that.

I knelt down, but not in some formal way like you see in church pictures. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his legs, like a little child hanging onto their parent for dear life, and he put his hands on the back of my head because I was pressed so close to him, but it didn’t feel weird or inappropriate or anything. He didn’t think so either. It’s weird to me now when I think about it, and I have to just shake my head at how weird I am.

These are some of the words he spoke to me… He called by my whole name. He blessed me to be able to love everybody, and be able to forgive easily. I am to be his hands. A tool in his hands. He’ll direct me where to go and what to do every day. I don’t need to keep worrying about the future and what I should be doing. Everything is happening according to his plan. I need to have faith that it’s all in his hands. If I constantly listen, I’ll know who I am supposed to help. He’ll bless my body to continue to heal and be strong. I need to be careful and not use it for my own selfish purposes (as in to look good or impress others). That it will be so I can work for Him. He’ll bless my faith to grow stronger, and the things I desire will happen, as in more experiences with him etc… (I really hope this comes to pass quickly!)(6 months later and it hasn't come easily or quickly LOL. It has taken work and effort!)

(Back to my experience with Jesus) 

At this point I had a feeling (in a playful way) that he thinks I’m a little rebellious! He thinks I doubt too much and that I shouldn’t doubt him. Ever. I need to keep meditating and visualizing like this and coming to him in this way. I need to write it all down so I don’t forget. It’s important that I rest when I need to and not overdo it, and that He’ll give me strength when it serves Him to do so. At this point I had to laugh again. He’s so funny and gets my sense of humor. Just the way he said, “when it serves me to do so.” It was in a jovial tone of voice. His sense of humor is beautiful and perfect. Never done in a way that is sarcastic or belittling like we humans are so prone to do. I respond well to humor so I'm guessing He catered to me to communicate his love for me. It's hard to explain.

After the blessing He took my hands and raised me up, kissing my hands on the knuckles once I was standing. It was so sweet, like what a father would do as he stared at his adored daughter. He told me he loved me, and then he cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes and said with an intense, but adoring, playful smile, “Be of good cheer!” (as though I’m not cheerful often enough) This also made me laugh because I know these words didn’t just come from my own mind (as though I were making this whole thing up) because I would never use those words. It sounds too formal to me, but when He spoke them, they didn’t. He said he wants me to be happy, as though I'm not often enough. And then he hugged me tight again, kissing me on the cheek.

And then, in the snap of a finger, He rose up fast, and was gone, and I was left by myself. As I reminisce upon this now I think how stupid it was that I didn’t ask him the millions of questions I’d wondered about for years! When the moment is upon you, it changes everything. My mind went completely blank!

But Jesus is right. I doubt too much. Even right after it happened I wondered if it was real. Phillip told me it’s normal to feel that way, but that it is important to remember the feel of his hands and voice, that I was now connected to him in a way I never was before, that I was now a member of The Church of the First Born, and I needed to stay active in that church and visit it often.

I don’t think people understand clearly what the second comforter really is. And I hadn’t either, but the feeling I had when it was over, the joy that radiated from me, couldn’t be explained in any other way. It stayed with me for weeks after. 

I was also exhausted. More than I’d ever been before. The whole rest of the day, even though I felt such happiness and peace, I was absolutely dragging, and my eyes felt blurry and achy, hurting to be open from crying so much… for the rest of the day."

Almost six months have gong by since this experience and I thought it would be easy to return, but it hasn't been. It's exhausting and take relentless drive to make even the simplest experience happen, but it is getting easier. My spiritual eyes are SO out of shape. It feels like being under water, trying to focus, constantly trying to see. Meditation is key. Being still and quiet is key. I have taken what Phillip taught me and am applying that knowledge to get to "the throne room" on my own. It's SO hard sometimes but also so simple. Maybe that's the problem. I haven't seen Him again (yet) but I have visited with other heavenly messengers. There are things the Lord expects me to do before I get to be with Him again, which obviously I've failed to do... (again, yet.)

One more thought before I go. I have not forgotten what Jesus feels like. HIS spirit. It's not the same feeling I get with the Holy Ghost. It is unlike anything I can describe to compare it to. No one else feels the same way and it is impossible to mistake Him for anyone else. You KNOW as soon as you are in his presence that it's Him. You just KNOW. For every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ. And this is my testimony that I add to everyone else's who has seen him. That He LIVES! And there is NOTHING I desire more in my life than to be with Him again and again and again.

Anyway, there it is. I want to add a song here that means SO much to me.

THIS is how I feel now.

P.S. I need to add that Phillip will help anyone through this process and he does not charge, of course. He does charge for the work with subconscious baggage that holds you back from financial or emotional success. It's how he makes his living, but he wants to help everyone to Christ with no compensation.